Month: February 2013

Nine Months

Dear Dylan,

Today marks nine months on Planet Earth for you. You were born in the year of the Dragon. It is now the Chinese year of some other creature, but the Dragon fire is with you still. You are definitely more of a handful than your sister. You are prone to temper tantrums, usually assuaged by shoveling more organic pureed food into your insatiable maw. You are officially ginormous. I had never heard a doctor use that term before, but it seems apt. At nine months you are 32 inches tall/long and 22 lbs.

I did want to discuss one issue with you. I understand completely that children of your age have a tendency to explore this brave new world with your mouths. But everything does not need to go into your mouth to be appreciated. Your poor mother is in a constant state of anxiety policing the environment for small objects. I think we have a routine and policy now that should prevent any major mis-ingestions in the house. Outside is another matter.

You see, we now have what you would call a deer-resistant garden. It didn’t start out that way. We once had a large number of plants of varying species. Since the dogs have passed on to chase unnamed things across eternal fields together, the deer have grown more bold and have culled everything remotely palatable from our once beautiful landscape. What is left is deer resistant by natural selection. Deer-resistant essentially means so noxious and poisonous that billy goats won’t touch it. This also means it is a fatal landscape for humans. We are left with a garden replete with Daphne and Hellebore. I have seen you eyeing the Hellebore on our walks. I advise against it. Hellebore is used by witches to summon demons. During the Siege of Kirrha in 585 BC, hellebore was reportedly used by the Greek besiegers to poison the city’s water supply. The defenders were subsequently so weakened by diarrhea that they were unable to defend the city from assault. Just sayin’
Live long and prosper little man.

Love,
Dad

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Overdue post from Italy

Dylan in Piazza. My First Italian Christmas
Dylan in Piazza. My First Italian Christmas

December 23, 2012
Dear Dylan,

Aplomb. That is the word to describe how well you have adjusted to the pace and rhythm of Italian life. Granted, the pace here is arguably well suited to a baby. Sleep, drink, eat, Enjoy family. But I am sticking with my assessment. This is your first Christmas in the Veneto and you were the hit of the Piazza this season. You arrived demonstrating no visible signs of jet lag and let us wheel you right into the middle of things. You stoically weathered all of the people who could not resist saying “Che bello questo bimbo!” and reaching their cold and flu season streaked hands in to stroke your face and head with all manner of microbial affection.

We even made a sign in Italian that said “non toccare il bimbo abordo” but it had little affect on your fans.

So I say bravo to you little man. Vivi a lungo e prospera!